Blue Moon
by Jayjayk023
Summary: Some secrets take to long to come out.


Some secrets don't come out until it is to late to save them from coming out. Secrets, they shouldn't be hidden from your best friend or even your co-workers, but sometimes, some people don't need to know about what keeps you staying in the game, why you are crime fighting, or even in general what keeps you from going crazy after everything we see everyday.

"I remember the first time I ever held her in my arms, god she was so small so innocent, and yet she was all mine. She had that dirty blond hair color, but her eyes, they were just like her mothers. If only her mom wanted her then we could have been a family, but we were 18 and what were we going to do with a child, I don't know why I stood up for not getting an abortion but once she was in my arms I just knew.

When she first smiled up at me I thought I was going to die, but I didn't it was just beautiful. I had to leave her with my parents while I went to school, but every time I would come home she made me dress up and play tea party or something along those lines, and now I wish I just had more time like that with her.

I wanted to become a CSI because of her, so she wouldn't have to deal with all that evil in the world, but in the end it still got to her.

When me and her moved here, to Vegas, we had to live in a hotel for a little while until I got my first paycheck, once I got that I went out and bought an apartment just for me and her. She wanted to paint the walls pink but since we were only renting we couldn't do that. She was disappointed about that but she was smart for a 6 year-old.

Oh, was she smart she was taking all college courses while she was still high school, I was surprised when her kindergarten teacher wanted her to skip a grade and just go straight into first. I did, which amazingly worked out quite well.

When I got the call, it was one of my vacation days and I really thought it was all a dream, it still feels like a dream but it isn't, I dropped the phone on the floor I was so surprised. I didn't think that my baby girl could have been in the middle of something as horrific as that and that she was having to be taken to the hospital. Nobody at my work knew about her, the only one who had known was Grissom but he left and when he left he took my deepest love and secret with him.

I got to the hospital just in time to see the paramedics rolling her in. There was so much blood, her shirt had been white, I remember because she picked it out the day before and asked if it would go wit the jeans she was wearing. I was frozen in the spot I was standing in.

The hours felt like days, but when the doctor came out and told me she had died, part of me died with her. At first I thought it was a cruel joke and that my baby would walk out and laugh her bell like laugh. It had to have been a lie because she was only 16. 16 year olds don't die because some kid walked into school with a gun and decided, 'hey I will just shoot these kids, jut for fun.' I'm guessing though that it happens and it happened to my daughter.

My friend's never got to meet her because she was shy and the truth was I really didn't want them to meet her. That was selfish of me. After Warrick's death I should have introduced her to you guys then maybe you wouldn't have had to find out because I passed out in a hospital and had to tell you guys that I had a daughter and she just died.

I want her to know that I wasn't ashamed of her. I was proud, so proud to have been your father. Your mom would have been proud to if she hadn't have left, but I know somewhere she would be. You are my angel, I love you. I'm so sorry."

Chocking out sobs the father who had lost everything walked back to his seat. His teammates felt useless because after losing Warrick everyone was shocked but losing a child must be the worst feeling in the world. Catherine knew that if it had been her daughter she would have done the same thing.

Hidden from the rest of the world for the first 16 years of her life from her father's co-workers, she was finally being recognized but it was over her death.

All the friends had come together. Grissom, Sara, Nick, Catherine and everyone from the crime lab had come to help a friend in need when he needed it most.

"Greg we are so sorry."

"I know." As he looked down at the gravestone he sighed.

_Marissa Lana Hojem-Sanders._

_November23, 1993- May 12 2010_

_Beloved daughter and friend._

_She had so much to give._


End file.
